Quoiromantic, also known as WTFromantic, is an alternative to a romantic orientation label.

The originator of the quoi- prefix, Cor, defines being quoiromantic as 1) not understanding or actively disidentifying with romance/romantic attraction/romantic orientation as sensible/applicable categories, personally, or 2) feeling that these categories are personally inaccessible, inapplicable, or non-sensical.[1] The premise of the quoi- identity challenges the idea that these concepts are universally applicable and relevant.[2]

Quoiromantic experiences may include:

  • Being unsure if you experience romantic attraction or not
  • Being unable to understand attraction as a concept or feeling
  • Finding the concept of attraction to be inaccessible, inapplicable, or nonsensical
  • Being unable to pin down a clear understanding of romantic attraction, so being unable to say whether or not you experience it
  • Having a difficulty distinguishing romantic attraction from other types of attraction, or being unable to distinguish them at all
  • Questioning romanticism for such a long time that the questioning itself becomes the identity, rather than a path toward any other more stable identity
  • Struggling with romanticism because it feels to complicated
  • Simply not feeling that any other romantic orientation label is applicable

Other terms that are similar to quoiromantic include gray-romantic, idemromantic, platoniromantic, and quasiromantic.

History Edit

As a consequence of the romantic orientation model becoming popular in the asexual community in the 2000s, some asexual people began to openly discuss why the model did not feel right for them.[3] For example, Kaz wrote that for zer, asking "so what's your romantic orientation?" is "the wrong question."[4] In 2011, in order to express frustration with the system, Sciatrix began half-jokingly referring to herself as "wtfromantic" (as in "what-the-fuck-romantic").[5][6] In her words, "it started as a flippant, honestly fairly sarcastic frustrated comment, not an attempt as a serious identity designation," one she did not expect to resonate with other people and begin to proliferate.[7] As a more pronounceable alternative, quoiromantic was proposed by Cor in 2012.[8] Both terms are still in use today. The premise of the quoiromantic identity has also spread to other areas, resulting terms such as quoisexual, quoigender, and quoigenic.

It is unknown how many people identify with quoiromanticism outside the asexual community, but the results of the 2016 asexual community census showed that 9.5% of respondents identify as quoiromantic or wtfromantic.[9]

Symbolism Edit


Cor's original flag design, edited to add the intended transparency

In 2015, Cor proposed a flag design for the quoi identity: four lavender question marks rotated in a ring to share a single dot, overlaid on a cool grey background in a house-shape, instead of the traditional rectangular flag.[10] Other flag design proposals have combined blue, green, black, and white or gray.[11] More recently, some simplified designs have been proposed inspired by the nontraditional flag shape idea, using a triangular flag shape instead.[12]

Quoi spiral q

Spiral Q

Other symbols for the quoi identity have been created as well. For example, in 2019 Coyote created a non-flag symbol: a Spiral Q, combining a capital-letter "Q" with a dot (as in a question mark), a turquoise gradient, and a spiral. As traditional symbols of confusion, the question mark and the spiral represent ambiguity, but so does the color turquoise, which can straddle the line between blue and green or be interpreted as either one.[13]

References Edit

  1. A Note on Quoi-
  2. Quoi- is NOT “can’t tell”
  3. Quoiro/WTFromantic: a brief timeline of disidentification with & personal rejection of romantic orientation
  4. A/romanticism
  5. Writhing in the Throes of Unrequited Like
  6. A Set of Affections Difficult to Characterize
  7. Ultraviolet
  8. A thought
  9. Bauer, C., Miller, T., Ginoza, M., Guo, Y., Youngblom, K., Baba, A., Penten, P., Meinhold, M., Ramaraj, V., Ziebert, J.,Trieu, T., Adroit, M., (2018). ​The 2016 Asexual Community Survey Summary Report​. The Asexual Community Survey Team.
  10. Cor's Quoiromantic Flag Proposal
  11. Quoiromantic Flag Designs
  12. Simplified Quoi Flag Proposals
  13. Spiral Q Symbol
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